-
What does burnt breads, soldiers dying, and pregnant women have in common!
Pulling out too late.
-
Dave walks into his local pub…
…and sees Bob sitting at the bar, grinning from ear to ear.Dave goes up to Bob and says, “Oy, Bob, what you grinning about there?” Bob replies, “Oh, Dave! Well, I was out there yesterday just waxing my boat and up walks this blonde with the most amazing tits! I start up a conversation and offer her a ride on the boat. So, I take her out a few miles and turn off the boat and tell her, suck or swim baby…and she couldn’t swim Dave!”A few days pass, Dave heads to pub for a pint. He sees Bob, parked at the bar grinning ear to ear. Dave sits down next to Bob and says, “Oy, Bob, now what you grinning about?” Bob replies, “Well, Dave, the other day I was out waxing my boat and this brunette with the most amazing ass walks by. I called at her, she turned around, we got to talking and I offered her a ride on my boat. I took her way out, at least ten miles. I turned off the boat and I told her, suck or swim baby. And she could not swim Dave!”A few weeks pass, Dave heads to the pub. As he walks in he sees Bob in the back sitting at a table, head down and visibly sobbing. Dave walks up to Bob and says, “Oy, Bob, what’s the matter?” Bob, without lifting his head, recognizes Dave’s voice and says, “Oh, Dave, you wouldn’t believe it. I was out there at the marina waxing my boat when up walks this redhead. She had the most perfect tits and an ass to match. I could not believe it. We get to talking and I offer her a ride on my boat. I drove for hours, way out, so far gone we could not see land. I turn the boat off and I told her suck or swim baby. Well, she stood up, whipped out the biggest dick I’ve ever seen and I cannot swim Dave, I cannot…”
-
Why is it smarter to smoke weed than drink beer?
Because Budweiser
-
Why was Santa’s sack empty at the end of Christmas night?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
-
What did the little ghost boy call his transgender ghost mother?
Transparent.Feel free to drop advice on better delivery, I’m open to suggestions.
-
Ever wonder why comedians don’t run for President?
They’d just make a joke of it.
-
Who is my good boi? My dog: woof woof…
Who is your ancestor?My dog: wolf wolf…
-
‘The President Is Deranged’: Critics Respond to ‘Unhinged’ Trump Letter Demanding Halt to Impeachment
-
Why did the rapper died while he was free styling?
Because he was on fire.
-
I checked my local weather app to see if I’d get snow for Christmas this year
Guess it’s still up in the air ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Jokes
Skip to the main content