I’m about to start my work, but first let me disamble my stapler and name and polish every part.
I had to laugh last night when my boyfriend said he wasn’t in the mood for sex.
As if it’s an option.
Sometimes I stay awake wondering if there’s a number between 1 and 10 that thinks of me too.
I’m going to purchase a dictionary, as after watching Final Destination 5, I clearly don’t understand the meaning of Final.
My next door neighbors Smart car’s battery died…
I had to give him a jumpstart from my iPod.
Cell phones are a distraction while driving.
Says cops with radios, dash cams, laptops, cell phones, radars and donuts.
“Welshman saves sheep by giving it the kiss of life”
….Thats the exact same thing I would have said to someone if I got caught getting it on with a sheep.
They call me Mr. Rhetorical. Can you guess why?