If anyone ever tells you they’ve lost their voice,
When Victoria Secrets commercials come on tv.
So do I.
I heard some girl having sex moans through my window. in my best mortal kombat voice i could. I yelled FINISH HER!!! I heard alot of laughing.
Either my boyfriend has early signs of Parkinson’s or I just gave him a really good blow-job.
I lost my phone, so if you find it I can explain the pictures.
I suspected my hamster had hypothermia so I needed to stick him somewhere warm, quickly.
A friend will share their lunch.
A good friend will buy you lunch.
A best friend will eat your lunch
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.