My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled “You’re being charged for being good in bed…” After 2 minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.
Category: Fun jokes
no p
A sign at my local swimming pool: WELCOME TO OUR OOL NOTICE THERE IS NO P IN IT, WE WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT
incomplete
According to the Institute of Incomplete Research, 9 out of 10 people…
arm
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge…
red duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Paul, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red. After seeing this, the…
well done
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?” “I can’t thank you enough, sir,” replied the waiter. “I hardly ever get a compliment.”
waiting
No, standing as close to me as you possibly can, will not make the line move faster.
ptotoshop
If you drink enough, your brain starts photoshopping people!
Welcome to Russia
self punishment
I would rather die: A husband walks in on his wife having an affair. Enraged, the husband grabs the man and takes him out to the shed. He takes the man over to a workbench, and then locks the man’s “manhood” into a bolted down vice.. Then the husband leaves. He returns a moment later…