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Jokes

  • Why did the kid get creeped out when he was with his uncle playing with an octopus?

    Because he expected 8 but he got ten-tickles

  • The reason Star Wars has so many plot holes is because the stormtroopers keep missing

  • This old bloke is in hospital.

    This old bloke is in hospital.Tubes coming out of him, heart monitor, oxygen mask, the works.Nurse comes in to check on him.He seems agitated and asks”Are my testicles black?”She lifts the blanket, fumbles around. “No they’re not black. Everything is as it should be.”He gets more agitated, the heart beeping machine goes into overdrive, the oxygen is flowing.He asks again”Are my testicles black?”She raises the blanket, has a better look this time.

  • My 4 year old cousin wants me to tell you all this joke

    Him: Why did the chicken cross the road?Me: Why?Him: To get to the idiot’s house(A few hours later)Him: Knock knock!Me: Who’s there?Him: The chicken

  • Who actually cares though

  • Has social anxiety/embarrassment always been a part of human history/evolution?

    [removed]

  • A small quiz

    Think of a number between 2 & 5. Now times it by 9. Now take the sum of the two numbers in that number(example: 42: 4+2=6). Now subtract that number by 5. Next see which letter corresponds with that number(1=a 2=b 3=c and so on). After that think of a country that is NOT in North America nor South America beginning with that letter. Take the last letter of that country and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Now take the last letter of that animal and think of a fruit that starts with that letter.Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

  • Where do shepherds go for a drink?

    Bar Bar Black Sheep

  • Naughty Norbert…

    Little Norbert was kicked out of Maths class by his teacher. Apparently, “mouthwash” wasn’t the right answer for the question “what comes after 69?” ???? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXIn a job interview with an international NGO fighting for equal rights . Norbert was asked how he views Lesbian relationships ? He was kicked out. Apparently *”In Full HD”*wasn’t the right answer ?????? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXTeacher:- Complete the sentence. “If my cup is only half full.. Little Norbert :- “Maybe you need a smaller Bra !! Teacher:- GET OUT!!! ? XXXXXXXXXXXXXXDuring a Biology class, the teacher asked the class, “Why is it that during childhood girls tend to grow taller than guys? Little Norbert raised his hand and replied, “That’s because guys have balls and that weighs them down.” The teacher, a bit annoyed, responded, “Then why is it that at maturity guys tend to grow taller than girls?” Little Norbert countered by saying, “That’s because girls get boobs, and they are heavier than the guys’ balls.” Seems logical to me also. I don’t know why he was thrown out of the class again …….. !! Poor Norbert! ?????

  • If you’re going to be two-faced,

    at least make one of them pretty.