Wife – “You said you weren’t going to drink more!” Me – “I’m not. I’m going to drink the same like before.”
Category: Fun jokes
@supernurse
All my life, I never imagined I’d wake up at 6am and go jogging….. …..And I was right.
@Gizmo
I love watching Women’s Heavyweight Boxing… It’s hilarious to see them fight back the tears when the announcer tells everyone their weight.
@Jeep
The older I get, the more I understand why Noah only allowed animals on his boat.
@OwenJthomas89
My new year’s resolution for 2023 Is to accomplish the goals of 2022 which I should have done in 2021 because I promised them in 2020 and planned them in 2019
@ChrisNewton
HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE I know im early but i suffer from premature congratulation.
@Strype
I went out for a few beers with my mates at lunchtime on Christmas Eve and didn’t get back until this afternoon… When I arrived home my wife was really upset and screaming something about her Christmas being totally ruined… Well it can’t have been me who ruined it for her, I wasn’t even there.
@Ochib
I bought a Russian advent calendar. Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.
@MO
When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, it took my breath away? I’ve never run so fast.
@MrsSimmons
I still remember the day my mum and dad told me that Santa wasn’t real. I was heart broken… I jumped in my car and went straight to the pub.